Working with Sex in the Counselling Room
Desire, Infidelity & Relationship Dynamics
Course Over View
Psychosexual Counselling Training
This advanced psychosexual counselling training is designed for therapists, counsellors, coaches, and helping professionals who want to deepen their confidence, clarity, and clinical skill when working with sexual and relational presentations in the therapy room.
This standalone CPD training has been designed for counsellors, coaches, and helping professionals wanting to deepen their understanding of psychosexual dynamics, intimacy, attachment, and relational difficulties through a relational and nervous system-informed lens.
This course also forms one chapter of the full Relationship Counselling Diploma. If you are looking for more comprehensive relationship training, you may wish to explore the full diploma programme before purchasing, as this training is included within that course.
Sexual difficulties rarely present in isolation. What practitioners often encounter is a complex interplay between desire, attachment, shame, relational structure, betrayal, communication patterns, trauma histories, and nervous system responses. This course brings these elements together into a coherent, therapist-friendly framework that supports both understanding and intervention.
Grounded in relational, attachment-based, and nervous system-informed approaches, this training explores how sexual difficulties can emerge within the wider context of emotional safety, connection, identity, intimacy, and relational dynamics.
The course supports practitioners in working more confidently with topics that can sometimes feel difficult to navigate, including desire discrepancy, sexual shutdown, arousal difficulties, shame, avoidance, betrayal trauma, communication around intimacy, and the impact of attachment patterns on sexual connection.
Alongside theory and clinical understanding, the training also focuses on therapeutic presence, ethical practice, language, and creating a safe space for clients to explore sexuality without judgement, pathologising, or shame.
This standalone CPD training has been designed for counsellors, coaches, and helping professionals wanting to deepen their understanding of psychosexual dynamics, intimacy, attachment, and relational difficulties through a relational and nervous system-informed lens.
This course also forms one chapter of the full Relationship Counselling Diploma. If you are looking for more comprehensive relationship training, you may wish to explore the full diploma programme before purchasing, as this training is included within that course.
Sexual difficulties rarely present in isolation. What practitioners often encounter is a complex interplay between desire, attachment, shame, relational structure, betrayal, communication patterns, trauma histories, and nervous system responses. This course brings these elements together into a coherent, therapist-friendly framework that supports both understanding and intervention.
Grounded in relational, attachment-based, and nervous system-informed approaches, this training explores how sexual difficulties can emerge within the wider context of emotional safety, connection, identity, intimacy, and relational dynamics.
The course supports practitioners in working more confidently with topics that can sometimes feel difficult to navigate, including desire discrepancy, sexual shutdown, arousal difficulties, shame, avoidance, betrayal trauma, communication around intimacy, and the impact of attachment patterns on sexual connection.
Alongside theory and clinical understanding, the training also focuses on therapeutic presence, ethical practice, language, and creating a safe space for clients to explore sexuality without judgement, pathologising, or shame.
What This Course Covers:
Across this training, we explore psychosexual work through a biopsychosocial and relational lens, integrating current UK practice standards aligned with COSRT, alongside relational models informed by Esther Perel, Terry Real, and contemporary psychosexual practitioners.
You will learn how to:
Understand sexual desire as both a biological and relational experience. Work with low desire, mismatched desire, and absent arousal. Explore how stress, trauma, medication, and life context impact sexual functioning. Support clients in navigating infidelity, betrayal, and trust rupture. Work safely and ethically with sexual histories, shame, and identity. Assess and formulate psychosexual presentations using structured frameworks.
Understanding Different Types of Sexual and Relationship Structures A central part of modern psychosexual work is recognising that relationships are not one-size-fits-all. Therapists need confidence working across a wide spectrum of relational and sexual identities, without pathologising difference while still maintaining ethical awareness. This course explores:
Monogamous relationships including long-term desire changes, routine, and attachment security. Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) including open relationships, polyamory, and relationship agreements Polyamorous and multi-partner systems including triads and quads, and how attachment and jealousy function across multiple bonds. Relationship anarchy where traditional hierarchies and rules may be rejected. Asexual and low-desire partnerships including differences between identity and difficulty. Kink, fetish, and BDSM relationships understanding consent, power exchange, and when dynamics are healthy vs when they may reflect coercion.
We explore the clinical question:
Is this a problem of difference, or a problem of distress, harm, or misattunement?
Capacity for consent and ongoing consent. Power dynamics vs coercive control. Alignment or misalignment between partners’ relational expectations.
Desire: More Than Just Libido.
A core focus of this course is understanding desire beyond surface-level presentations.
We explore:
Spontaneous vs responsive desire Contextual desire (stress, fatigue, parenting, illness) Relational desire (trust, resentment, emotional safety).
You will develop the ability to help clients understand why desire has changed, rather than simply trying to “fix” it, particularly across different relationship structures where desire may function differently.
Infidelity and Betrayal Work.
Infidelity does not sit outside relationship structure it is defined within it.
This course helps therapists understand:
How infidelity is defined differently across monogamous and non-monogamous systems. The difference between agreed non-monogamy vs betrayal of agreement. The impact of secrecy, deception, and attachment rupture.
You will learn how to work with:
Discovery shock and nervous system dysregulation. Meaning of the affair vs the behaviour itself. Supporting both individual accountability and relational repair.
Drawing on the work of Esther Perel, we explore how affairs can reflect deeper dynamics around identity, desire, loss, and unmet needs, while maintaining a grounded, ethical therapeutic stance.
A Dual-Track Approach to Treatment.
You will be introduced to a dual-track clinical model, where therapists learn to work with:
1. Individual Sexual and Emotional Processing.
Desire patterns
Shame and identity
Compulsive or avoidant sexual behaviours
2. Couple and Relational Repair
Communication cycles
Trust rebuilding
Erotic reconnection and safety
This ensures that therapy does not collapse into either individual pathology or relational blame, but holds both with clarity particularly important when working with diverse relationship systems.
Clinical Frameworks You Will Learn.
This course integrates structured models used in UK psychosexual practice, including:
PLISSIT Model
SENATE-informed assessment
Attachment-based formulation
Trauma and nervous system integration (polyvagal-informed)
You will learn how to:
Understand sexual desire as both a biological and relational experience. Work with low desire, mismatched desire, and absent arousal. Explore how stress, trauma, medication, and life context impact sexual functioning. Support clients in navigating infidelity, betrayal, and trust rupture. Work safely and ethically with sexual histories, shame, and identity. Assess and formulate psychosexual presentations using structured frameworks.
Understanding Different Types of Sexual and Relationship Structures A central part of modern psychosexual work is recognising that relationships are not one-size-fits-all. Therapists need confidence working across a wide spectrum of relational and sexual identities, without pathologising difference while still maintaining ethical awareness. This course explores:
Monogamous relationships including long-term desire changes, routine, and attachment security. Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) including open relationships, polyamory, and relationship agreements Polyamorous and multi-partner systems including triads and quads, and how attachment and jealousy function across multiple bonds. Relationship anarchy where traditional hierarchies and rules may be rejected. Asexual and low-desire partnerships including differences between identity and difficulty. Kink, fetish, and BDSM relationships understanding consent, power exchange, and when dynamics are healthy vs when they may reflect coercion.
We explore the clinical question:
Is this a problem of difference, or a problem of distress, harm, or misattunement?
Capacity for consent and ongoing consent. Power dynamics vs coercive control. Alignment or misalignment between partners’ relational expectations.
Desire: More Than Just Libido.
A core focus of this course is understanding desire beyond surface-level presentations.
We explore:
Spontaneous vs responsive desire Contextual desire (stress, fatigue, parenting, illness) Relational desire (trust, resentment, emotional safety).
You will develop the ability to help clients understand why desire has changed, rather than simply trying to “fix” it, particularly across different relationship structures where desire may function differently.
Infidelity and Betrayal Work.
Infidelity does not sit outside relationship structure it is defined within it.
This course helps therapists understand:
How infidelity is defined differently across monogamous and non-monogamous systems. The difference between agreed non-monogamy vs betrayal of agreement. The impact of secrecy, deception, and attachment rupture.
You will learn how to work with:
Discovery shock and nervous system dysregulation. Meaning of the affair vs the behaviour itself. Supporting both individual accountability and relational repair.
Drawing on the work of Esther Perel, we explore how affairs can reflect deeper dynamics around identity, desire, loss, and unmet needs, while maintaining a grounded, ethical therapeutic stance.
A Dual-Track Approach to Treatment.
You will be introduced to a dual-track clinical model, where therapists learn to work with:
1. Individual Sexual and Emotional Processing.
Desire patterns
Shame and identity
Compulsive or avoidant sexual behaviours
2. Couple and Relational Repair
Communication cycles
Trust rebuilding
Erotic reconnection and safety
This ensures that therapy does not collapse into either individual pathology or relational blame, but holds both with clarity particularly important when working with diverse relationship systems.
Clinical Frameworks You Will Learn.
This course integrates structured models used in UK psychosexual practice, including:
PLISSIT Model
SENATE-informed assessment
Attachment-based formulation
Trauma and nervous system integration (polyvagal-informed)
Who This Course Is For
This training is ideal for:
Counsellors and psychotherapists (Level 4 and above)
Relationship and couples therapists
Practitioners wanting to confidently work with sexual issues and
diverse relationship structures.
What Makes This Course Different
This is not a purely medical or technique-driven training, instead, it offers:
A relational and psychodynamic depth aligned with UK practice A clear framework for working across diverse relationship types A strong focus on consent, ethics, and power dynamics Integration of desire, infidelity, trauma, and relational diversity into one coherent model.
Enrolling now gives you:
Priority access to all modules as they are released Downloadable handouts, assessments, and therapist tools A complete framework you can begin applying immediately in practice
What Makes This Course Different
This is not a purely medical or technique-driven training, instead, it offers:
A relational and psychodynamic depth aligned with UK practice A clear framework for working across diverse relationship types A strong focus on consent, ethics, and power dynamics Integration of desire, infidelity, trauma, and relational diversity into one coherent model.
Enrolling now gives you:
Priority access to all modules as they are released Downloadable handouts, assessments, and therapist tools A complete framework you can begin applying immediately in practice
What You Will Learn
Across this course, we will explore:
• Abuse and Control
• Physical and non-physical abuse
• Emotional, psychological, and coercive control
• Financial and sexual abuse
• Reproductive control and power dynamics
Relational and Psychological Dynamics
• Trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement
• Attachment injuries and relational templates
• Shame, fear, and dependency cycles
• The cycle of abuse and how it presents in therapy
The Role of the Therapist
• Working with neutrality without collusion
• Recognising risk and safeguarding responsibilities
• Understanding your limits as a practitioner
• Knowing when to refer to specialist services
Working Safely in the Room
• How abuse presents in couple's or individual sessions
• Why couples work is not always appropriate
• How to hold the space without reinforcing harm
• Supporting autonomy rather than directing decisions
A Realistic and Ethical Approach
This course is grounded in the reality that:
• You cannot control your client’s choices
• You cannot “save” someone from their relationship
• You cannot always create change within the couple dynamic
What you can do is:
• See clearly
• Respond ethically
• Hold a safe and boundaried space
• Support awareness and informed choice
That is the work.
• Physical and non-physical abuse
• Emotional, psychological, and coercive control
• Financial and sexual abuse
• Reproductive control and power dynamics
Relational and Psychological Dynamics
• Trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement
• Attachment injuries and relational templates
• Shame, fear, and dependency cycles
• The cycle of abuse and how it presents in therapy
The Role of the Therapist
• Working with neutrality without collusion
• Recognising risk and safeguarding responsibilities
• Understanding your limits as a practitioner
• Knowing when to refer to specialist services
Working Safely in the Room
• How abuse presents in couple's or individual sessions
• Why couples work is not always appropriate
• How to hold the space without reinforcing harm
• Supporting autonomy rather than directing decisions
A Realistic and Ethical Approach
This course is grounded in the reality that:
• You cannot control your client’s choices
• You cannot “save” someone from their relationship
• You cannot always create change within the couple dynamic
What you can do is:
• See clearly
• Respond ethically
• Hold a safe and boundaried space
• Support awareness and informed choice
That is the work.
Professional and Ethical Frameworks
This training is aligned with UK best practice, drawing on:
• BACP Ethical Framework (2023)
• NICE Guidelines (QS116)
• SafeLives and DASH risk framework
• Respect UK standards
• Relate and Tavistock relationship models
These frameworks ensure that your work remains safe, accountable, and professionally grounded. A Final Word
This is not an easy area of work.
It will challenge you not just clinically, but personally.
You may notice your own reactions, your own values, and your own limits being activated.
That is part of becoming a relational practitioner.
This course is here to support you in developing the confidence to sit with complexity, the awareness to recognise harm, and the integrity to work within your role.
• BACP Ethical Framework (2023)
• NICE Guidelines (QS116)
• SafeLives and DASH risk framework
• Respect UK standards
• Relate and Tavistock relationship models
These frameworks ensure that your work remains safe, accountable, and professionally grounded. A Final Word
This is not an easy area of work.
It will challenge you not just clinically, but personally.
You may notice your own reactions, your own values, and your own limits being activated.
That is part of becoming a relational practitioner.
This course is here to support you in developing the confidence to sit with complexity, the awareness to recognise harm, and the integrity to work within your role.
Course Tutor
Shirley Marais
Seasoned CPCAB Tutor
[email protected]
Shirley Marais is a seasoned relationship counsellor and dedicated educator who brings a wealth of professional experience and relational insight to her role as course tutor. A Registered Member of both the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society (NCPS), Shirley has built a successful private practice working with individuals and couples in the Bedfordshire and Northamptonshire region and online for many years. Shirley’s therapeutic style is rooted in the Person‑Centred approach, providing clients a safe, compassionate environment in which they are fully seen, heard and valued. Over time she has integrated a rich repertoire of modalities including Psychodynamic, Transactional Analysis (TA), Solution‑Focused and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to meet the complex needs of couples and individuals alike. In her role as tutor and supervisor she supports aspiring counsellors on accredited courses (Levels 2, 3 and 4) as well as offering CPD in relational work. Her teaching is characterised by clarity, practicality and relational depth she draws directly from her practice to help delegates develop both therapeutic confidence and relational competence.